"Amazing"

Just got back from O's speech therapy session and "amazing" was the word of the day. The head teacher in her room was there along with O, the speech therapist, and I. The teacher, Miss F, and the therapist, Miss L, kept going back and forth and saying all of the stuff O has been doing the last few weeks. And they both kept saying how "amazing" she is doing. Did a mommy good today! I needed some snuggle time with my butterfly and some positive stuff. Although it did make it much harder to pull myself away and come back to work. Especially since I kept getting hugs and kisses from O. That is her newest thing and of course my favorite. Although, she needs to learn to keep her mouth closed for kisses! LOL
It was very funny today though because she did something she has never done. She hit me (not new) and I "pouted" and made a sad face and said "you hurt mommy" and she immediately kissed me and gave me a hug and when I said "That's right, give mommy aye-ayes" she started making "aye-aye" noises. It was so great because it all meant that she understood what she did, that it hurt me, and that she needed to apologize. What a little smarty pants! ;)

S-U-C-C-E-S-S, That's the way we spell Success!

I am on cloud 9 here today! We had our 9th annual Buddy Walk yesterday and not only did we blow away the number of walkers we had last year, we are quickly blowing away the money we raised last year! We had over 800 people show up to the walk along with over 70 baskets to raffle off and over 20 silent auction items to bid on. We had 200 people show up the day of the walk to register!!! That is just incredible. The local radio station was there and the local news station even came and interviewed me (I was the one that contacted them).
O's team did an amazing job helping out and raising money! I am so excited to see the final #s come in to find out how we all did.
To say I am feeling a total sense of accomplishment today would be a drastic understatement! I helped make it possible! We have a great team of parents that worked well together to make the day a huge success! I am just bursting! I can't wait to get started planning our big 10th anniversary walk!!! ;)

Loss

So, when you lose something, it is supposed to be the worst thing that happened to you, right? Well, I have experienced loss and I can't say that it was all that bad in the long run. When it happens, it is like ripping a band aid off. There is pain, there are tears, there is the thought that it can't ever get better. But, then things are fine. And most of the time things are better than fine.
The last few days I have been reflecting on a lot. With the completion of my first real Buddy Walk I have realized that the loss of the baby I thought I was having last year was a loss that gave way to a new life. And a wonderful life at that. I have met so many amazing people and friends and have found a new purpose for my life. I enjoy advocating for O even though it can be incredibly hard and emotional at times. It makes me appreciate my family and my true friends more than words. It has made me realize who those true friends are. The ones that stood by me, helping me instead of analyzing my every move. The ones that are still with me today, supporting me on a very important day.
These thoughts bring me to another significant loss. And that is the loss of the person I thought was my best friend. Someone that I thought knew me better than anyone, even M and my family. Someone I thought of as my long lost sister. Someone, as it turns out, doesn't know me at all. Things that I said, or didn't say; things that I did, or didn't do; and every action was scrutinized and held against me in the worst way possible. The pain of realizing that the person who is supposed to know you best, doesn't know you at all is much worse than the ripping off of a band-aid and will leave scars for a long time. The person that you love like family, telling you that they think you are a horrible, unsupportive friend ~ because during the deep depression that followed your child's diagnosis, you weren't there for her and her son's diagnosis; that you compete to prove that your life is "worse" on a daily basis ~ when all you were trying to do was make her feel better and not so alone because you can understand; that you are a liar ~ because you exaggerate the truth. I am not a horrible friend, I am a very good friend. I am not a competitive person, one of my favorite sayings reflects this..."A child is like a butterfly. Some can fly higher than others. But each one flies the best it can. Why compare one against the other? Each one is different. Each one is special. Each one is beautiful." And I am certainly not a liar, a drama queen - absolutely, but not a liar. So, she can continue to think these things of me and not feel bad about losing an 18 year long friendship. I deserve better friends than what this person thinks of me. And that loss, although extremely painful, will heal one day and I will be better for it. And the loss of that friendship has made me feel free to make new friends. I almost had too much loyalty to that one friend that I felt guilty being too good of friends with other people I met. But, no more. I have met people that I know will be great friends and I am no longer "afraid" to embrace them.
So again, a profound loss, comes with another open door. I guess it is true that when one door closes, another opens.

PICTURES!!!

Ok, so it is time for some new pics! I realized I haven't posted some in a while and oh boy do I have adorable ones!!!!

I told you! They are adorable, aren't they? ;)

My new favorite place

The Dollar Store!!!! Any and all dollar stores are included but the best are usually the Dollar Trees. There is no other place on earth that you can get such crazy stuff for so cheap. We are in the throws of potty training (mostly #2 issues now) and we needed some stickers for E's sticker chart and some prizes. So, we went to the dollar store. I got her a coloring book, 2 plastic horses, a wand thing with a sparly ribbon attached, a beaded bracelet, 2 packs of stickers, 2 night lights (Ariel for her and Tinkerbell for O), 3 pregnancy tests for me (because I am a paranoid whacko), and a soda for $14. You just can't beat that!!!

I really need to remember to go there more often!

Let's Get Political!!

I am not into politics AT ALL, but this time around I am so into it, it has become an obsession. Mostly because I am so interested and excited to see a woman on the ticket. But, more importantly because she has a 4 month old baby with Ds and man oh man is she proud of him!! She is a regular, down to earth woman with problems just like the rest of us. I didn't stay up late enough to watch her speech but I am reading through the transcript now and will watch it on the DVR when I get home. The part of her speech that stopped me in my tracks and made me burst into hysterical bawling was this...
"Sometimes even the greatest joys bring challenge. And children with special needs inspire a special love. To the families of special-needs children all across this country, I have a message: For years, you sought to make America a more welcoming place for your sons and daughters.
I pledge to you that if we are elected, you will have a friend and advocate in the White House."
Now, I don't know much yet about Palin's views on politics, but from what I have seen of her so far, she has me impressed with the kind of person she is. She is a strong woman that is dealing with way more than I think I could ever handle, and she is doing it with such grace and class!!! Sending a son to war, helping a daughter with an unexpected, teen pregnancy, dealing with the media attacks on her family, adjusting to life with a special needs child, and all of the tremendous pressure that running for office and the related scrutinty brings. She is just one tough cookie and I like her.
Now, will I vote for her? I am not sure yet. I don't know enough about any of the candidates to make that choice yet, but I know that she is the kind of person I think this country needs. I am not wild about her anti-abortion stance, I think every woman should be given the right to chose. I love that she thinks we should cut the insane spending going on in Washington. But, like I said, I need all the facts before my vote is cast.

SICKIES!

Ok, so we have been EXTREMELY lucky with O and the health issues. One area, however, where we are right with the pack is with the snot! OMG can the kid produce snot!!! The issue is that all her airways, internal passageways, etc. are much smaller than a typical child. So, for her, a little bit of snot = a lot of blockage and makes it very hard to move it out. Hence why children with Ds tend to end up with upper respritory infections a lot. So we have been attacking the head snot with baby saline spray and the bulb sucker to no avail. It seems to be moving into her chest now which is usually very hard for her to get out and ends up on antibiotics. Once she ended up with pneumonia and in the hospital. Last time we hit her hard with nebulizer treatments to keep everything as open as possible and we avoided antibiotics. So that is the plan this time. I just feel horrible for the poor kid, she is always full of snot!!! Most of the time we can clear her up enough to breathe while sucking on her fingers, a must for sleeping! She just coughed a lot last night and I felt terrible for her. I just wish there was something else I could do other than sit and wait for the snot to clear!

On another note, E now has the viral rash that O had the other week. When she gets hot it gets really bad but it doesn't seem to bother her much. So much for it not being contagious! I guess it is one of those fun ones that is contagious before you even know they have it. LOL

I have had a sore throat for days which seems to have subsided. But, now I have a bit of a dry cough. FUN! I am pumping myself full of vitamins and praying it passes!

M is super healthy as usual! LOL