I found her! I found her!!!

Ok, so I think I finally found someone locally that is going to be someone I will be VERY good friends with. I will call her J. We met at our local Ds organization’s summer picnic and I was in awe of her new baby girl, M. She is ADORABLE. J and I got to chatting and clicked immediately. J & M came over for dinner Sunday night where we got to chat more and I am so excited (hubby A had to work late and couldn’t make it)!!! O & M are going to be the best of friends and I think J & I will be too! It is so nice to have someone with a child close in age to O where we can share similar experiences and “get” each other. We can help each other through the rough spots and rejoice in the happy spots.

As much as I love all of my friends I have had forever and my family, and no matter how hard they try or how badly they want to, they will never “get” it. I don’t love them any less, but it is an area that we can’t really share. Some old friends & family accept that they don’t get it and are just there to support while other old friends & family keep trying to get it and get upset when they don’t and think I am upset with them (which I never could be). It leads to tension that can really wear down a relationship, even an old one, even ones with my mom & sister. It is a relief to finally have someone that I can relate to on that level and who can see where I am coming from. My old friends & family understand me on a different level because they have known me so long, and that will never change.

So, I look forward to getting to know J better and watching M grow up along with O. Did I mention that they are exactly 10 months apart? Yep, both born on the 26th of their months. M was born on SIL’s bday but I won’t hold that against her. ;)

I am just bursting to finally have someone locally to hang out with and share that part of my life with. I do have friends locally that I am close to, but they don’t get a lot of stuff I go through, but they are always there with an ear and a shoulder!

Look at me! I am finally growing and making new friends! ;)

VOLLEYBALL

To say I am a fan of volleyball an understatement. I LOVE it!! So of course I am on a volleball high with all of this awesome stuff happening at the Olympics! USA took gold in both men's and women's beach volleyball and both men's and women's indoor volleyball teams will be playing for gold! How awesome would it be if USA swept the games in all volleyball? I am just super giddy!!! Too bad I missed watching both gold medal beach matches, hopefully I can find re-runs somewhere or watch the match online! Gotta set the TIVO for the indoor matches!

=)

A happy post

yes, I know these are very rare, but here it is just the same! ;)

I am in a much better place with O's evaluation today. I re-read all of the scores and realized that she is kicking butt in most of the areas. Especially taking Ds into consideration! Today I am a 'bawling-my-eyes-out-with-pride mommy'! I am just bursting with excitement for all that she has accomplished and I am focusing on the utter amazement of the PT at her abilities. She was literally sitting there with her mouth agape watching O move around. She kept saying over and over about how well she is doing and she has NEVER seen a child with Ds doing this well at this young age! That's my girl!!!! And many ginormous thanks to my insanely supportive friends at Downsyn for helping me through that rough patch, and for hugs from those around me here even though they had no idea why I was so upset.

We have a weekend with NOTHING planned coming up and I couldn't be more excited. We have a housewarming picnic at a friend's house (leaving kids for a sleepover with M's mom) so we are going to enjoy a night out without the kids. Then we will take them in the morning tomorrow for pics but after that we are FREE-FREE-FREE and I couldnt be more excited. Although my "To Do" list is insanely long, I am going to try to ignore it as much as possible and just love on my kiddos (and maybe my husband-if he behaves) this weekend. My parents are close by for the weekend and we were all going to meet up to take the kids to the Zoo but I think we will bag that idea since it will be too packed there. Maybe we will take them to our piddly little zoo here and the fish hatchery, those will be big hits with them, especially the fish and E.

Speaking of E, mommy has been the one with her mouth agape lately. She just asstounds me with the stuff she comes up with. She is seriously the most creative and animated kid EVER, but I am not biased or anything!!! I just sit and watch her play, talk to her "friends" (million stuffed animals or dolls), make food in her kitchen, try to mother her baby sis, and boss everyone around. I just watch her in amazement at what a little person she is now. I just LOVE this age!!! Although she can be extremely strong-willed, these moments totally make up for it. Especiallly when she looks at me and says "mommy, you are my best friend" or "I love you mommy, whole big bunches, forever and ever" (our saying in our family that I taught her), or one of any of the adorable things she says. But it isn't so much what she says but how she says it, she is just so animated with her facial expressions and body movements. It is side-splitting hilarious! And she is just such a mom!!! We met up with a few of my friends from high school this weekend for us to catch up and the kids to play together. She was always making sure the other kids were ok and well taken care of. Although sometimes she was just outright bossy, most of the time she was adorable.

Now, for the hubby, I bragged on him recently so there isn't much to say now except that no matter how much he irritates the crap out of me on an hourly basis, I still thank my lucky stars for having such a wonderful man! I used to feed off the negativity others felt toward their significant others and take him for granted and pick him apart, but now I am realizing that I am a very lucky girl and I need to start expressing that.

So, a post of mine wouldnt be complete without a little bit of a downer so I will get that out of the way. I am so far beyond disappointed in my sister right now. She committed to helping me solicit sponsors and donations from a lot of local places since she is a teacher and was off for the summer. Do you know what she did? NOTHING!!!! And then gave me attitude for being upset with her about it. She had 3 months and didn't do a thing other than drop a few info packets off. So now I have to bust my butt to get it all taken care of since the walk is less than a month away. It would have been a different pill to swallow if she didn't insist that she would do it and wanted to help out, I even gave her a few opportunities to bow out since she seemed so busy with going to the pool, shopping, napping, etc. She got mad at me for acting like she wasn't going to do it. Guess what - she didn't and is now mad at me for being upset with her. How did that work? Oh well, i will call the big hitters on the list and chuck the rest in the trash. It isnt worth fighting over, but I am disappointed.

But, by myself I didn't do too shabby! I already have gotten over $6,000 in monetary or item donations for our Buddy Walk!!! And I have over $1,000 in individual sponsors for me as a walker! I think I found the passion in life I was missing all these years! God did know what he was doing when he gave O to us! Imagine that! LOL

OMG I totally forgot how much fun blogging is! I missed this, even if no one ever reads it, it is nice to just put it out there!! =)

The Scary EI Rollercoaster

I don’t think there is any way that I can put into words how incredibly emotional the last few hours have been. O had her 1 year EI evaluation this afternoon and I am still reeling from the roller coaster of emotions that it caused.

O is 13 months old (in 5 days, but was evaluated at 12 mo).
Here are her scores:
Adaptive = 9 months (eating from a spoon, holding/supporting bottle to feed self, dressing, eating)
Personal-Social; Adult Interaction = 11 months (how child interacts with adults around her)
Personal-Social; Self-concept & Social Role = 18 months (emotion, coping skills, sensitivity to others needs & feelings)
Receptive Language = 5 months (child’s ability to understand speech) this is the one we kind of bent the truth a bit on to make sure she would continue to qualify for services
Expressive Language = 11 months (Child’s ability to express thoughts and needs. Use of sounds, gestures, words)
Gross Motor = 8 months (muscle control, coordination, balance) kinda fibbed on this one too, said she wasn’t pulling up to knees or stand which she is doing
Fine Motor = 8 months (posture & control of upper body, hand manipulation skills, arm use)
Cognitive; Attention & Memory = 9 months (ability to attend to environmental stimuli) fibbed a bit here too, said she doesn’t look at us when we speak to her, but she does
Cognitive; Perception & Concepts = 13 months (how a child interacts with environment – sensory & motor)

Now, on paper it looks like we should have been jumping for joy and overly excited about her eval. But, what the paper doesn’t tell you is how unbelievably emotional it was. I was so excited about how the PT was practically screaming about how well she is doing, but freaking out thinking “does this mean she isn’t going to qualify for services”? Then with every question they would ask I would think “ok, how should I answer this so she doesn’t score to high and lose services”? So, I really have no idea how she is doing because I wasn’t 100% honest on everything in the speech and congnitive areas. And although I know that the scores aren’t 100% accurate, I am having a hard time with the delays showing up. Areas like fine motor, adaptive, etc. where I was totally honest and she scored low are really hard to swallow. I knew the day would come when the delays would start creeping in, I knew it would happen today, but just because you know it is coming doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I think that is what is the hardest for me, to realize that she isn’t just like any other 1 year old, she is different. I am so used to her kicking butt at every Dr apt and therapy apt that seeing her delayed is a shock to the system. Now, I know that her being delayed and different is ok, and I am getting closer to a point where I can fully embrace that. But it isn’t an easy road by any stretch of the imagination.

Some would call what I did “lying” and shake their head at me, but what I did was what I needed to do for the best interest of my child. If that makes me a liar, then tattoo it on my forehead because I don’t care. I will do whatever it takes to make sure O retains her therapy services through the county!

Anyone that has been through this evaluation process knowing that their child needs the services but may be doing too well to qualify, knows the rollercoaster that the evaluation can cause. We made it through, with buckets of tears, but now we can keep plodding forward and pushing her on her way!!! I am so proud of my little butterfly that I could burst, we tried to do everything to make her perform poorly but she still wowed them! No nap, no lunch, etc. and she still was the most adorable child ever (well, next to E of course).

Now, if I can just convince the OT and speech therapist to do a real evaluation at her next appointments so we can find out where she really stands, I will be happy!

Needless to say I am back at work and not getting much of anything done. It was torture to have to take my sleeping angel off my chest, load her into her car seat, and take her back to daycare today. I cried the whole way there and the whole way in to work from all of the overwhelming emotions of the day and having to leave her. I will be rushing home as quickly as possible to love on her more.

Do I get a t-shirt that says "I survived the EI Rollercoaster"?

Best hubby ever!!!

Ok, so I took the girls out of town to visit my family and friends for the entire weekend, Fri night through Sunday evening. Not only did M not complain about it, but he busted his butt the whole time we were gone. Primed and painted 3 coats in our bedroom, put all the furniture and everything back, fixed multiple fence posts, mowed the lawn, cleaned the entire house, went grocery shopping for me, and had dinner for us when we got home. And somehow he managed to squeeze in 9 holes of golf! I am so impressed! I told him I have to go away more often!

Our bedroom looks amazing! I just need to get stuff hung back up on the walls and get some accessories for the room and it will be done. I am so excited with how it all turned out, much better than I had imagined!!! =) The walls and furniture are a bit darker than in the pics though. I just L-O-V-E it.

I posted to soon...

M's mom just called, his aunt has really bad breast cancer. She has been dealing with it for over 2 months now going to specialists, etc trying to get an idea how far along it was and what needed to be done. She goes in on the 27th for a complete mastectomy and reconstruction. Then she has to do heavy duty chemo because they have no idea how far throughout her body it has gone. Wow! I am still in shock! Her daughter has to go back to college in 2 weeks and deal with this while trying to go to school. I can't even imagine! You would think this family had been through enough in the last year.

Now they are telling her daughter and mike's sister that they need to go get tested for the gene to see if they are at a higher risk. They also will have to be getting checked more often because Mike's grandmother had breast cancer also. Our girls are screwed cause now they have it coming from both sides. My grandmother and a bunch of great aunts (other grandmother's sisters).

It's Raining, It's Pouring...but no one is snoring

Let me just say that at this house, when it rains, it pours!

E woke up this morning at 4:30 all upset and whiney. She crawled into bed with me and I thought 'OMG this kid is HOT' but just figured it was from her being all bundled up in her room. When we finally woke up at 6:30 I realized how miserable she really was. She was on fire, temp of 102 and shivering. Gave her ibuprofen right away and within 30 min we thought she was fine. 2 hours later she had a temp of 103.5 and was shivering even worse. At this point I called the Dr and got her an apt. She usually loves going to the Dr. and pretends to be sick just to try to get me to take her, but today she wasn't having it! She cried the whole way there and almost the whole time there. Luckily I was able to get her to pee in a cup so the Dr. could check for bladder or kidney infection. I also had him check her front butt (girly area) and he said she has vaginosis. There were white blood cells in the urine but he can't tell if they are from the vaginosis or a kidney infection. The culture results will be in tomorrow, in the meantime he started her on anti-biotics. The only other thing it could be is a viral cold but she has NO cold symptoms so I am thinking it is a kidney infection. My poor girl! I could just cry.

So, of course O woke up this morning with her eyes glued shut from a ton of discharge. Luckily we already had an apt for her with the eye Dr. It was her 6 month follow up to see if she needs glasses. Yes, she does have conjunctivitis (pink eye) in both eyes, poor kid. But, her eyes have gotten better in the last 6 months which is AWESOME news, the best of the day.

And I woke up with AF this morning! FUN!!

All this is on top of a really crappy week. The release of the horrid move "Tropic Thunder", being swamped at work, and relationship troubles with the BF. I am on overload right now so it was nice to have a day off work even if it was cause my kids are sick and I have cramps! I'll take it!