To say I have had a lot of emotions lately is an extreme understatement. My baby girl is a year and a half old today and I can't quite put into words what that time has been like for me. The first few months were a blur of trying to deal with the blindsiding shock of her diagnosis, which in hindsight I didn't handle all that well. But, it was a process I had to go through. I look back through my posts from back then and am in awe of how raw those emotions were. I would be lying if I said they aren't still there, but just further from the surface.
Someone posted on Downsyn (a great support group for parents of kids with Ds) today a question that I cant get out of my mind. "If you could, would you remove the extra chromosome?" I honestly don't know how to answer that. On one hand I love my child more than life itself and wouldn't change a hair on her head. BUT, I also love her so much that I never want her to struggle for anything in her life. I don't want her to have to deal with the horrible people in this world that won't look at her for the amazing child she is, all they will see is the disability. And I know in my heart that it is their loss, I just hope my angel sees it that way too. I don't want her to have to fight and work so hard for every little accomplishment. I don't want her to have anything holding her back from all that she wants out of life. I hope and pray with all my heart that she will always be happy, whatever form that takes. That is all I want for both my girls.
So, enough of that deep shizat. Onto the fabulous news...O took her first real steps over the weekend! Yes, you read that right, steps!!! Two steps between Auntie B and me on Saturday and just kept on doing it. The lunging afterwards was a bit comical too. Today she had her OT apt and walked 20+ feet holding one hand, that is just amazing!! Then she took 4 steps between her teacher and therapist! This kid is unstopable! Soon enough she will be off and running right along her big sis. I can't even begin to explain to anyone who hasn't been there, the overwhelming joy and pride you feel when you know your child has worked so hard for something. It is truly amazing. As of today though, she no longer "qualifies" as being within typical child range (10-18 months) for walking. But, compared to the average age for walking for a child with Ds, 2.5 - 3 years, she is kicking some serious arse! But, I wouldn't expect anything less from my fiesty little one! O also had her apt with her speech teacher today who said her receptive language is right on with where a typical child should be. We do need to work a bit on her expressive though. Although 12 words and 8 signs is pretty darn good if you ask me!!!
And all of this comes on the tail end of my little fireball turning 3! How did that happen? How do I have a 3 year old and a 1.5 year old? And the craziest part is that the urge for the next one is kicking in! Imagine that! Maybe I should seek professional help! LOL I love being a mom more than anything I have ever done in my life, it is amazing and my kids are amazing. As much as they BOTH bring some challenges our way, I wouldn't trade them for the world. Ok, ok, somedays I have considered it! But then they look at me and smile and I melt into a big puddle of mush.
Can you blame me?
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